The Single Girl’s Valentine’s Day Guide
Just when you have navigated the hurdles of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s as a single woman, now Valentine’s Day is almost here. For many, it’s a day to celebrate love and romance with that special someone. Unfortunately, for others it’s their least favorite holiday. Whether you just got out of a long-term relationship or you happen to be single, you may not want to stop and smell the roses on the “most romantic day of the year.” Dr. Sanam Hafeez, an NYC Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind shares a few heart-healthy tips on how to keep Valentine's Day from becoming an emotional meltdown.
It’s February 14th, Not Valentine’s Day
When it comes down to it, Valentine's Day isn't really a big deal. “Keep in mind that some of those “happy” couples you see while you're out and about may be putting up a really good front and aren't as happy as you think,” says Dr. Hafeez. “It's all about how someone treats you year round, not just on one day when it's standard for someone to go out of their way in honor of the holiday.” Although Valentine's Day is meant to be a day that celebrates love, it really is just one day out of the year.
Go Where you will be appreciated- Volunteer!
On a day where you might lament feeling unwanted, you will be wanted at virtually any charity whether it is an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, an old age home, soup kitchen etc. Knowing that your presence will make a difference and be someone’s Valentine’s present will make a difference in your mindset. So, get out of your one head and volunteer!
It’s Me, Not You
Be your own Valentine this holiday and pamper yourself by splurging on a day at the spa, a new haircut or a little retail therapy. “You can still celebrate February 14th on your own terms,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Is there something that you’d really love to do, but you’ve been making excuses for why you shouldn’t? Be your own Valentine and treat yourself to something special.”
Stay off Instagram or other triggering social media
You know there will inevitably be that friend or couple who just has to post pics of their flowers, jewelry, chocolate, or dinner reservations online. Do not “doom scroll” looking to see how many couple’s Valentine’s Day images you can find to “reinforce” your misery. Make this day a “black out “ day on social media.
Be My Valentine
Who says everyone should only get Valentines from those they're dating? “The day is about love, so send some Valentines to those you love the most - your family and friends,” advises Dr. Hafeez. “You'll feel good knowing that you made them feel special and maybe even made them dislike the day a little less.”
Send Yourself Flowers
If you are feeling really down about being alone on Valentine's Day, why not send yourself flowers or chocolates to your place of work?
Avoid Love Triggers
If you are upset about being alone on Valentine's Day, avoid watching romantic movies and listening to love songs. These types of activities are sure to bring on the love blues.
A Single Girl’s Night In
Order your favorite UberEATS meal, pour yourself a glass of your favorite Pinot Noir and watch something mindless on Netflix. “There's no problem at all with staying in by yourself on Valentine's Day. If you're single and don't feel like going out, there's no better way to spend Valentine's Day,” says Dr. Hafeez.
Accepting What Is & Setting Goals for the Future
If you are alone and sad on Valentines Day, give yourself permission to experience all of your negative emotions. "Remember that your romantic status today does not determine your entire future,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Being single does not mean that there is something broken or wrong with you. Don't generalize your negative emotions to other aspects of your life. Not having a relationship is hardly tantamount to failure. Your romantic life is only one facet of who you are. It is also something that can change if you are unhappy with it.”